The Long Road
by Pandora95
Summary: Naruto's life is turned upside down once he learns that Sasuke, his best friend, is really ill and there is nothing anyone can do. Can hope really lead to miracles? Dedicated to anyone who's been in a situation similar to this one. Be strong and believe.
1. Chapter 1

"What exactly are you doing?" I asked curiously looking over his shoulder. Sasuke Uchiha lifted his gaze from his notepad and glared at me. I just laughed. Who was he trying to scare?

"What does it look like? Hunting demons moron." With a shake of his head he went back to writing on his notepad.

I sighed and collapsed on the bed next to him.

"Is that what your book is about? Demons?" I put my hands behind my head making myself comfortable. "Because you know, that would be really cool."

I let myself think about that for a little while. Sasuke, the Demon hunter. No, it sounded awful. Sasuke deserved a cool nickname.

Either way, he would be out there with his katana, and that overrated smirk of his going "this is the day I bring you to justice, demon."

Of course there would also need to be a big explosion, and he would have to walk away from it unscratched.

That's the kind of book I would have written if I was gifted with words like he was.

"Or you know," I carried on, my mind still half living in that fantasy world. "Dragons are really cool too. Is your character going to slay dragons? Or train them. That's an even better idea!" I could hardly contain my excitement. Most of the time, I still acted like a little child despite my age. Who in their right state of mind wants to grow up anyway?

"No Naruto" he said with a light sigh. He dropped his pen on his notepad and turned to face me. That was when I saw the black bags under his eyes. Had he not slept for a week? "I don't even know what I'm writing anymore." he rested his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands.

"Sasuke" I said gently as I sat up on the bed. If I knew he was so worked up about it, I wouldn't have started joking.

"Every line I write, I just keep thinking its utter bullshit. I should just quit now."

"Sasuke" I said again. It didn't matter; he still didn't look up at me. How could I not tell that it was bothering my best friend this much? "What brought this on? Why are you being so hard on yourself?"

Sasuke still didn't look at me. Instead I heard him take a deep breath.

"I just know, alright?" Lie. I knew he was lying to me. Something must have happened for him to say that. Sasuke was never big headed about his writing, but he never put himself down like this.

"Did, something happen today?" I asked gently, placing my hand on his shoulder. He immediately shrugged it off and walked towards the door. Before he reached the door handle, he gave another sigh.

"Nothing happened. I'm fine."

The door closed behind him. I hated it when he lied to me like that. It pissed me off. We knew each other for a long time; you would have thought two grown men at university would be able to communicate with each other. Well I guess simple communication with Sasuke was just too much to ask for.

* * *

I fell asleep right where I was before. In his dorm, on his bed. I glanced at the bedside clock. 12.34. Where the hell was he?

He was the perfect student. Never sneaking out or going partying. Hell, he hated parties

I felt slight worry then. If he wasn't here, where was he?

I left his room quietly (after making sure he wasn't in the bathroom first) and looked around the corridor. There was no sight of him.

"Alright Naruto" I told myself. "No use in panicking. He's an adult. Just because he has never done anything like this before doesn't mean shit."

I remembered my phone. I should have called him straight away. My only excuse was that my mind was still a bit foggy from sleeping.

Speed dialling his number I waited impatiently for him to pick up, and telling my phone to hurry up as if that actually changed anything.

He finally picked up on about the twentieth ring.

"Hello?" he said his speech slurred. He was either really tired or drunk. I guessed it was the latter.

"Sasuke where the hell are you?" I made no effort to hide the panic and anger from my voice. When I'd get my hands on him…I'd hug him and then kill him.

"Naruto would you...would you calm down? I'm just drinking a bit. Letting my hair down."

"Sasuke this is not letting your hair down! Its Wednesday, you have lectures tomorrow!"

"You are SO overreacting. I'm having a great time. Screw lectures. Screw my book. Screw life."

His last sentence made me freeze. I could literally feel the blood in my veins run cold. He wouldn't, would he? Not after what happened to his mum?

"Sasuke tell me where you are . I'll come and get you."

"And who are you? My nanny? Or are you trying to be my mum? I already told you that I'm fine."

"Sasuke cut the crap and just tell me where you are."

"Why don't you just fuck off?"

"Fine" I snapped. "Drink yourself to death for all I care." I ended the call and slipped my phone back into my pocket.

It was obvious that I was lying. I did care about him. More than he could ever know.

The good thing was, I managed to speak to him for quite a while. From the background noise I could guess he was in a pub. There were only two pubs in this town. The Dog and the Game and The Wild Fox. I decided to check that one first.

I hurried down to the stairs, exited the building and quickly found my car. I had to find him fast before he got into some kind of trouble. If he didn't already.

"This time, I might have to kill you Uchiha." I said as I stepped on the gas.

* * *

When I entered the Wild Fox, it was nearly empty. Only two men sat separately drinking. No sign of Sasuke.

"Excuse me" I said to the bartender who's was trying his hardest to stay awake.

"Hello and welcome." he mumbled. "Piece of advice if you ever want to open a pub never make it 24/7. Now what can I get you?"

"Thanks I will keep that in mind." I told him and offered a small smile. "I'm actually not here to drink. I'm looking for my friend. I was wondering if he passed by here?"

"Kid, a lot of people come and drink here every day. What did this friend of yours look like?" He asked me putting on a forced smile.

"Right yeah" I pulled out my phone again and showed the bartender the wallpaper. It was of me and Sasuke, taken a few years back. It was the only picture I managed to get him to smile. What you can't see from the picture is that I had to tickle him senseless for about twenty minutes beforehand. He nearly managed to slap me twice. It was a good day.

"The raven haired one?" The bartender asked. "Sure he came here. Had about three beers and started to get violent. Such a light head." he shook his head.

"I'm terribly sorry I hope he didn't cause you too much trouble."

"No I kicked him out. Sorry I don't know where he went afterwards." The bartender sounded genuinely sorry. My face must really have portrayed the worry I felt.

"How long ago was this?" I asked trying to piece some of this together. When I find him he's gonna pay.

The bartender looked at the clock. "About half an hour ago."

My mind tried to work it out. So when I called him he was still here. Well at least I was right about that.

"Thanks for your help." I told him and turning around.

"Your phone." he said and I turned back around. He was holding my phone out to me.

"Right, thanks." I took back the phone and left the pub in a hurry.

I rang him again as soon as was outside. He picked up.

"Sasuke?" I asked. "Where are you?"

"I told you to leave me alone already." His voice sounds clearer now. Sober. "Why won't you listen to me?"

"Because you're my best friend and it's the middle of the night. Tell me where you are so I can get you home. We can fight in the morning." Geez it sounded like we were a married couple.

"There is no point. Just let me stay out here under the night sky. I won't even have enough time to finish my book."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I stopped walking. My voice sounded quiet. I only hoped he could he hear me. "You have your whole life ahead of you to finish writing your book. That one and many others."

I heard something strange from the other end of the line. Was Sasuke crying?

"If only you knew how wrong you are."

"Sasuke you're not making any sense. Tell me where you are and I'll come and get you. I'll take you home and then you can-"

"Just shut up. Stop saying the same thing over and over. It's giving me a headache."

"Okay I'm sorry." I knew I didn't really need to apologise but what else was there to do? "Sasuke you're being difficult. Imagine yourself in my position. Now tell me you wouldn't try to find me."

"No, I wouldn't care where you were." I can't help but smile despite the situation. Sasuke, such a terrible liar.

"Don't make me call your brother." I threatened. It might have sounded childish, but I knew it was going to work on him. Him and his brother didn't have the...easiest relationship.

"You wouldn't dare." He said after a minute of silence.

"Try me." Was my simple response. I hated having to do this to him but he didn't leave me much choice. "I'll call him up and tell him what you've been doing all night. Then he'll drag your ass back to New York and I'll finally be able to get some sleep!" I added the last line so that he'd know I wasn't being totally serious.

"Fine" he said with a sigh. "Don't get your panties in a twist. I'm just at the park."

* * *

I always drive carefully and respect the speed limit and such. But when it comes to Sasuke, well things are different then. I didn't drive like a madman but faster than the speed limit permitted. It was the middle of the night, the streets were empty and Sasuke needed me. That was my excuse.

Once I reached the park I could feel my heart beating fast in my chest. I spoke to him not that long ago so I knew he was fine, but the things he told me were the ones that kept making me worry. What did he mean he wouldn't have time to finish his book?

I saw him before I could even try to answer my own question. He was sat on the swing with his back to me.

"Sasuke" I said getting my breath back. I didn't even realise I was running.

"Ah, here comes the knight in shining armour." There was no humour or sarcasm in his voice. Only sadness.

I moved so that I could stand in front of him.

"Can you tell me now what the hell you've been doing? What's gotten into you? You've been acting weird since this afternoon." Despite my efforts my voice sounded panicked.

Sasuke lifted his gaze and looked me straight in the eyes. I could tell for sure that he was crying. "Sasuke? What's wrong?" I asked as I kneeled down in front of him so that we could be eye level.

"Why did you worry so much about where I was? I'm an adult now, why were you so worried?" I could see fresh tears running down his face. All I wanted to do was to wipe them away, hug him close to me and make whatever made him hurt disappear.

"How old you are doesn't change the fact that you're my best friend Sasuke." I told him gently. Was it the wrong thing to say? He started crying harder.

"I'm going to miss you so much you've got no idea." He said and I could see his whole body trembling.

"What are you talking about? Are you going somewhere?" I had to ask. I really didn't understand.

He took a shaky breath "I'm dying Naruto."

"Wha...what?" In one second I felt my whole world coming crushing down on me. I overheard, this was not happening!

"I'm sorry" he took another shaky breath. "I didn't know how else to tell you."

"No" I could feel my eyes sting with tears. I balled my hands into fists. "this is not happening! No!" I screamed. I squeezed my eyes shut. This was nothing but an awful nightmare.

I felt hands around me. I opened my eyes and saw that Sasuke was hugging me. In this situation, _he _was comforting _me_.

"Sasuke" I asked. My voice made it obvious that I was crying too. "How long have you known?" I didn't even know why I asked. But what was I supposed to ask? I've never been in that situation before. All I wanted to be was his friend, because that was what he needed right now.

"I got the call this morning. They told me the results over phone since I couldn't go and see them today." He sounded much calmer than me, even though I could still see the tears running down his perfect face.

"I need you to know that I will be there, every hospital appointment, whatever. I'm not going to let you do this alone." I reassured him and myself at the same time.

"Naruto, there won't be any appointments or anything. I won't waste the remainder of my life in a hospital."

"But you can't just give up!" My voice sounded urgent. I pulled him closer to me. I felt his grip tighten on me too.

"I'm not giving up; there is nothing they can do to help me. They can only slow the effects of the tumour down a little bit, but that requires a long painful process. I'd rather just live while I still can."

Tumour. It sounded as bad as it was. A disease fitting with its name. And Sasuke. The perfect Sasuke, who was crying and shuddering in my arms because he was dying. Because he wouldn't be able to fulfil his dream of becoming an author. Because he knew he didn't have much time left and for him every second mattered.

"I'm so sorry." I told him. I knew he didn't want or need my pity but what else could I have said to him?

"Thank you." He whispered quietly. Whether he meant that because I came to find him, or because I said I would be there for him or simply because I was still holding him didn't matter. Such little things shouldn't matter. Only appreciating what you have until you still have it.


	2. Chapter 2

When someone close to you tells you that they're dying, your prospective on the whole world changes. When walking I would notice the smallest of things I never noticed before. Like the way the sky really looks just before the sun sets. Or a squirrel running from tree to tree. I started appreciating everything around me. Even the way the sun felt against my skin and the way the breeze ruffled my blond hair.

Even now, every single week I go to the park, no matter what the weather is and sit on a park bench, on my own, for an hour appreciating everything I had and have. I guess it somehow still helps me to deal with the situation. It's been SO long since I found out about Sasuke's illness, but it only feels like yesterday. And it still hurts like hell.

* * *

Sasuke was looking into the mirror on the wall for about three minutes. I wasn't sure what he was seeing or wanting to see. Was it the fact that he got thinner or his skin paler?

"You know you shouldn't look into the mirror so much." I told him as I casually walked past. "My mum always used to say that if you stare at your own reflection for too long, you'll eventually see the devil."

"That's bullshit." Sasuke exclaimed but looked away from the mirror and didn't look at it again. I couldn't help it and a smirk crossed my lips.

"Naruto, can I talk to you about something?"

I stopped walking and turned around to face him.

"Uh-oh" I said. "That sounds serious...What's going on?"

Sasuke smiled at me and sighed.

"I made a list." I waited for him impatiently to carry on. "A list of five things I want to do...before I...you know." I did know.

"So" I walked into my room, Sasuke followed. "What are those five things?" I asked sitting on my bed. Sasuke sat down next to me.

"Firstly, I want a tattoo."

I blinked a couple of times.

"A tattoo?" I said uncertainty. "Like a permanent tattoo?" Sasuke smirked. "Yes idiot. Can you not understand English?"

A tattoo. Suddenly I got a great idea. "Ya know that's actually cool." I told him crossing my legs on the bed. "I might get one too..." Sasuke's smirk turned into a full smile.

"Great. Then that would be one thing crossed off."

"What's next?"

"I want to get drunk." I scoffed.

"Well you got that one already covered."

"No idiot. I want to get drunk properly. With you. I don't want to remember what I did the night before the next day."

"Alright," I said slowly making sure I fully understood that sentence. Who actually said "night before the next day"? Well, apparently my best friend did… "That can be arranged. But I have to admit Sasuke, that's a weird thing you so desperately want to do." I admitted with a soft smile so that he knew I wasn't mocking him.

"I just want to know what it feels like. That's all."

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Alright whatever you want. Next?"

Sasuke looked away, not meeting my eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked him as I raised an eyebrow.

"It's...it's embarrassing..." he admitted. I could see his pale cheeks turning slightly red. "I want to have a first...kiss..."

Involuntarily my eyes widened. I would never expect the good looking Sasuke to never have been kissed before.

"Are you serious?" I asked. It's not that I thought he was lying, but it was still hard to believe nonetheless.

"Why is it so hard for you to understand?" he said crossing his arms, but he still wouldn't look at me. I had no idea why he was so embarrassed.

"Well, we can sort something out too." A tiny smile crossed his face. I could tell he was grateful but it was still hard for him. I had my first kiss when I was thirteen. However now, it meant nothing to me.

"What's number four?" I asked changing the subject. Sasuke seemed grateful too.

"I want to make up with my brother." I didn't suspect that. "I really don't want to die holding a grudge."

"Does he even know that you're ill?" I asked softly.

Sasuke scoffed. "Of course not."

I didn't think so. Sasuke and his brother hadn't spoken in years. I doubted Sasuke would just call him up and tell him that he's dying. Then, another thought crossed my mind.

"Does your dad know about your illness?"

"No" Sasuke sighed and rested his chin in his hand. "I called him the following week I found out. He was busy and said he would call me back. He still didn't. I swear he forgets he has children."

I felt really bad for Sasuke. Even worse when I came to a certain understanding. Sasuke was dying and I was the only person who cared. His brother was somewhere doing something, not talking to his baby brother, his dad was "too busy" and his mom was dead… I think that was more painful than any disease could have ever been.

"The last thing on my list is," Sasuke spoke snapping me out of my thoughts. "I really want to finish my book. And I need to hurry up; I could be gone tomorrow for all I know."

The casual way in which he said those words, made my heart ache and my eyes water. I got up from the bed, after excusing myself, and locked myself in the bathroom. That day, I cried so long I had a migraine and puffy red eyes for three days.

* * *

Everything seemed fine. Like he wasn't even ill at all. Until I got that call.

I was panicking so I really didn't remember much of the conversation on the phone.

The hospital called and said Sasuke had lost consciousness while he was in his lecture. Apparently he was fine now, but managed to dislocate his shoulders when he fell.

If I had been there, I would have caught him. That's the second thing I thought. If I was with Sasuke, I would never have let anything bad happen to him.

However, there was another problem. Along with me, Sasuke's dad was also contacted. He rushed to the hospital and found out, everything. He didn't have time to listen before. He learned that his son was gravely ill six months after he was diagnosed. Some father he was.

He told Sasuke that he was taking him home, but surprise surprise, Sasuke wouldn't go. You can't hate your family, but from what Sasuke told me afterwards, the feelings he had towards his father were borderline of hate. After so many years of neglect, no one would be surprised.

In the end, Sasuke came to live with me and my guardian Iruka. (Both my parents were dead; I don't know why I didn't mention this before. I guess it's because I didn't know them and this _really _isn't about me). We both dropped out of college. As much as Sasuke protested against me quitting, I still did. I never told him but, I could go to university again at any time, but the time I had with him was limited and I could only spend it with him now. As selfish as it was, I couldn't imagine my life without him. Without my best friend being my best man at my wedding. Not being able to make jokes with him and play video games ten years from now. Maybe not even two months from now…


	3. Chapter 3

I've never given much thought as to what happens to us when we die. Whether we go to heaven or hell, or we're reborn again, or we are just dead forever… I just didn't think about it. Why would I worry about something like that when I was still so young?

But…I started thinking about it more often…I couldn't help it. When Sasuke died…would he go to heaven? If there was a heaven, then Sasuke definitely deserved to go there. He (more than anyone I knew) deserved to be happy for an eternity.

If he was reborn, well I liked to think that he'd be reborn as something free, like a bird or someone important, like a future King. Either way, I hoped that he would find me somehow. Just to let me know that he was happy. That's all I could hope for.

Of course, there was still the option of Sasuke dying and being _dead_. Him just laying in the ground, rotting for eternity.

The first time I realised that I threw up. There was no way that could happen to Sasuke. There _had _to be something after death. There _had _to be. Because as much as I hated loosing Sasuke, I absolutely wouldn't be able to bare it if I knew that the moment he was gone…he was truly gone…forever.

* * *

"Naruto, what on earth are you doing?" Sasuke's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I quickly locked my phone so he wouldn't see what I was doing. I didn't want to ruin his surprise. He told me that there were very few things he still looked forward to. I was determined to give him at least a few reasons to be happy before…

"Nothing that you need to be concerned about!" I told him with a smile and got up from my desk chair. "Do you have any plans for today?"

Sasuke gave me a look "I never have any plans dumbass."

"That's not what I meant." I recovered quickly. I tended to be careful with my words around Sasuke, but I still wanted him to know that I was the same best friend that I've always been. "And it's not my fault you're such a lazy ass."

Sasuke smirked and I smiled. I still had it.

"Do you want to take a walk? Feed the ducks?" I asked.

"Naruto, did you get a heatstroke outside?" He said with a sigh. "I'm not five; no I do not want to feed ducks."

"Well that's a shame…their little asses always remind me of your haircut…" It's been so many years now, and I still can't look at the damned ducks.

"Well sorry to spoil your fun, but I feel really tired today." Sasuke – who had black bags under his eyes – kept saying the same thing over the past three days now. 'Sorry not today, I didn't get much sleep' and 'I'm just gonna go and lie down for five minutes'. Those five minutes turned into half a day. Both I and Iruka were worried.

"Did you take your medication?" I asked him. Despite my efforts I still sounded like a nurse…

"Yeah I did" he walked over to my bookshelf. "Since when do you have the Harry Potter series?" he asked crossing his arms across his chest. He'd been in my room a million times before, (it would be hard not to, considering he lived in the same house as me now), how he didn't realise the books where there before I had no idea.

"Well" I began. "Ever since you read them and told me how good they are…I wanted to read them…"

"Naruto Uzumaki" He turned around to face me. There was a true smile on his lips for the first time in days. "Did you actually listen to me for once?"

"Hey I listen to you all the time!" I replied pretending to be offended.

"Do you want me to make you a list?" He joked.

"A list on what?"

"A list of good books to read, I would hate to think that after I'm gone you would read some crap."

"Stop saying that!" I snapped at him. "Don't say things like that!"

"Like what?" He looked taken aback. "That I'm gonna die? Well newsflash Naruto, I will."

"Stop fucking joking about it like it doesn't matter!" I clenched my fists at my sides.

"But it doesn't matter does it? I will die and life will move on! I've come to terms with it, why can't you?" Only after the fight I realised that Sasuke didn't even raise his voice. I was the asshole doing all the shouting.

"I can't just come to terms with my best friend…" I stopped.

"You can't even say it to my face, can you? You can't look me in the eyes and acknowledge the truth."

"I just wish this wasn't happening!" I admitted my voice still too loud. My whole body was shaking with anger now. "I wish you weren't ill!"

"I'm sorry but I can't change that." Sasuke dropped his gaze to the floor. "I can go and live with my father if this is too hard on you." He was…again worrying about me…why the hell couldn't he worry about himself for a change?!

"No!" I looked out the window. "I don't want you to leave, that's not why I…I just…"

"Thank you" the words were so sudden and unexpected. I looked at Sasuke who was looking back at me. "Thank you for being here this whole time, I…" he took a deep breath. "I couldn't have done this without you. You give me the will to live. To wake up each morning and take my medication and live."

"I…I…" I didn't know what I wanted or needed to say. Instead I walked over to my best friend and hugged him. He was _so_ thin and fragile, I felt like I might snap him in half if I hug him too tight. His words moved me so deeply; I knew I would break down in tears at any second if he said another word.

Sasuke hugged me back but not for too long. Soon he went limp in my arms.

"Sasuke?" I asked gently, my heartbeat speeding up. I pulled Sasuke slightly away from me, still having a firm grip on him. His eyes were closed and he was breathing deeply and evenly. Sasuke was _so _tired that he fell asleep in my arms while standing up.

I bit my lip and carefully moved him over to my bed. Once I lied him down, I saw him start shivering (in the middle of summer) and used up every blanked I had in my room, and Iruka's room, and his own room just to keep him warm.

He looked so small and defenceless, it was heartbreaking.


	4. Chapter 4

The day of Sasuke's surprise approached fast. I still wasn't convinced if it was a good idea or not, but I decided to go with it, since he wanted it so badly. And at that point (or any other point in our life actually) I would have done anything for Sasuke.

I thought about it long and hard. Since Sasuke wanted that tattoo so badly, I arranged a time and already paid for it. Everything was ready; we just had to show up. I say we, because I decided to get a matching tattoo to his. It would be a permanent mark of our friendship, on our bodies forever. After…he was gone, I would have a constant reminder of him. Just so, that I would NEVER forget about him. Not that I ever could or would anyway.

We were on our way to the tattoo studio. Before we left the house, I asked him fifty times if he was sure he was okay. He rolled his eyes and said he felt fine. It was going to be a good day. I promised him and myself.

Before we left the house I let it slip that we're going to the tattoo studio. The surprise wasn't completely ruined. He still had no idea that I would be getting one too. I was, after all petrified of needles. Well at least I'm not anymore. After all, there are much scarier things in life than a few needles.

Sitting on the bus, Sasuke rested his head on my shoulder. I thought he was probably tired, so I just sat quietly next to him, trying my best not to disturb him.

Soon enough we were nearly at our bus stop.

"Sasuke, wake up. We're nearly there."

"Mmmm" He said sleepily. He slept so little it broke my heart to wake him up, but we couldn't just drive round and round on the bus.

"I'm sorry that I have to wake you, next stop is ours."

"So-sorry" Sasuke still mumbled slightly. "Sorry that I fell asleep." He finished raising his head from my shoulder.

"You have nothing to apologise for." I smiled at him. "Are you still feeling okay?" I swear, he must have gotten so bored with me asking that all the time. I didn't care. I had to make sure. I had to know. I promised I'd be there for him and goddamn it if it was the only promise I would ever keep, I would fucking keep it.

"I already told you I'm fine before we even left the house. I took my medication." I smiled and nodded.

Once we reached our stop, we both got off.

"Naruto," Sasuke said and grabbed my wrist to stop me from walking forwards. I stopped walking and turned around.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

He smiled lightly. "Nothing at all." He shook his head still smiling. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." I tilted my head to the side. "Could you for one day forget that I'm ill?"

"But-"

"No buts, just do it for me, please."

"I…I can't just-"

"Yes you can" he smiled at me again. "Just for today, please forget. Let's have fun today and forget all about it."

"Okay" I smiled back at him. "I promise to try my best. Now let's go get those tattoos!"

"Tattoos? As in more than one?"

"I..err…just come! No time to explain!" This time I grabbed his thin wrist and dragged him (gently) to the tattoo studio.

* * *

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine"

"Positive?"

"I already told you I'm okay."

"You're not gonna pass out again, are you?"

"Sasuke just shut the fuck up!"

Sasuke chuckled. "I'm sorry, I can't help it! He didn't even start your tattoo; he just showed you the needle and bam! Naruto down!"

"I'm glad you find this so funny!" I sat up on the bed.

"It's the hardest I've laughed in ages."

"Well I made it through the rest of the tattoo without passing out again."

"Yeah but you were looking away the entire time, and squeezing my hand so tightly I thought it was going to fall off!"

"Oh sorry about that…" I rubbed the back of my head with my hand and smiled lightly.

"I don't mind, my hand is fine now."

"Really? Because mine hurts like a mother fuc-"

"Okay yeah I get it! Do you think my tattoo doesn't?" Sasuke smirked.

"I still can't believe you went along with the idea…" I said honestly.

"Why the hell wouldn't I?" Sasuke lifted his wrist and looked at it as if it was an amazing piece of art. Of course it wasn't, it was just my name written in fancy script. I lifted my own wrist and looked at it carefully. Suddenly I understood what Sasuke was seeing. It wasn't _just_ his name written in a fancy font. It was a reminder of my best friend. That no matter where I went, he would always be with me. I would never have to say goodbye to him forever. He would be with me, every day of my life. No matter what I did, I would have him by my side. It made me feel better.

"I love this tattoo" Sasuke said smiling at me. Sasuke smiled a lot lately. I hopped it was a good sign.

"Mine's pretty awesome too." I smirked at him. It's like our roles were reversed. Well, I wish they were. I would happily have died in his place. I didn't say it to be a hero or to seem brave or something. I genuinely would.

At that moment a phone ringed. "Phone's ringing." I said really unintelligently.

"No kidding" Sasuke said looking around. "Is it yours?"

"No mine's in my pocket." I said patting my right jeans pocket. Sasuke looked at the desk. His mobile was flashing and ringing.

"I never get phone calls…" he said reaching for his phone and answering it.

"Hello? Oh hello doctor." That caught my attention. I tried to listen in, but I could only hear Sasuke's side of the conversation. "Oh really? Umm that's great, I think. I…I don't know…I need some time, to think about it…okay great. Thank you." He closed his phone and stared into space.

"Sasuke," I asked gently moving closer to him. "Is everything-"

"Don't say 'okay'" he buried his head in his hands. "And just when I thought we could go a day without talking about it." He sighed heavily. I waited a little for an explanation that I knew he wouldn't give me voluntarily.

"What did the doctor say?" I asked eventually.

"He said…" Sasuke took a deep breath and looked at me. He wore an expression I just couldn't work out. "He said that my recent tests have shown…that I could improve…my chances…I mean it could help me…maybe live a little longer…"

"What?!" I breathed. My heart was beating painfully in my throat.

"There's this operation…with a really complicated name, that I can't remember…but-"

"Sasuke that's the best news that-"

"No Naruto" He said simply. I could see he was tearing up.

"No?" I asked stunned.

"There is no chance, I'm going ahead with that surgery." He said simply. I could literally feel my heart breaking.

"But Sasuke-"

"No Naruto. Its…It's my decision." Just like that. He got up from the chair and left my room. And left me looking stunned after him.


	5. Chapter 5

After that, things got kinda awkward between me and Sasuke. When I talked to him, he only gave me the simplest answers and whenever I tried to bring up the subject of his illness or the operations, he just stormed out of the room without saying anything and I wouldn't see him for the next 12 hours. Being honest, it hurt. It hurt and I was beyond pissed at him. I know how awful it sounds…but he was being so selfish. Or maybe it was me who was selfish… It was hard to tell at the time.

Still I missed my best friend, and I couldn't stand the time we had together to be wasted.

"Sasuke, I have to talk to you." Sasuke looked up at me from his magazine, his mouth full of cereal. It was my chance to say something. "I hate all the fighting, well actual the lack of it. It would be better if we were fighting than to not be talking at all." Sasuke swallowed but still listened to what I was saying, his eyes never leaving mine. "If you don't want the operation that's your choice and I won't say anymore about it. Let's move past it and go back to the way things were, please."

"Well Naruto" Sasuke closed his eyes and smirked. "That was an Oscar winning performance. Why have you never thought of acting?"

"I'm being serious." He opened his eyes and looked at me again. His mouth was a hard line.

"Sure you are. And you promise you won't bring up the topic of the operation again? You swear?"

I blinked hard and looked away from him.

"Yeah that's what I thought." I heard him shifting in his seat. "It's not easy to forget about something like that believe me. I can't. I think about it every night and day and I can't get away from it. But my decision still stands. No means no and nothing you can say will change my mind." He concluded.

"Can you tell me why?" I looked back at him. "I will never speak of it again, if only you give me a good enough reason as to why you don't want to go through with it. Why aren't you grabbing the opportunity to be able to live longer?!"

"Naruto, now you're really pissing me off." He said through gritted teeth and narrowed his eyes.

"Can't you just answer the question?! Don't you think that I deserve some answer?! After all the times, I've been there for you!"

"I'm sorry I forgot it was all about you Naruto!" He snapped at me.

"You know what?! You're being selfish!"

"What?" he asked taken aback. I should have stopped talking then…but I had to carry on.

"Yeah! You're selfish! Do you know how many people who are dying would kill to get an opportunity like this?! To be able to live their life a little longer! They would say yes without any hesitation! And here you are…"

"And what makes you such an expert? Huh?" He crossed his arms and I could have sworn he was tearing up. I had gone too far and I knew it, even back then. "You think I don't want to live?" He paused but I stayed silent. "Well I do. Okay, I want to live. I want to die when I'm 80 in a warm bed with my wife holding my hand, you telling me that we had amazing adventures together that you'll never forget and my children gathered around me. But we both know that is never going to happen. I don't have a future only the present. And I'm tired. Tired of living like this. It…" he paused and looked up blinking away his tears. "It hurts and I've had enough. I don't want to die but I want the pain to stop. And that will only happen when…"

"Sasuke…" I said swallowing hard. I was close to crying too.

"So please let me go. No painful operations. When I die, I die and that will be all. Whether its tomorrow or in six months time. Just please let me go."

"Sasuke" I swallowed again. "I can't just let you go." I took a few steps closer to him. "But I'm sorry I had no idea…you…you always put on a brave face and say that you're doing okay. I can't believe I believed you. I think you're the one who needs the Oscar."

Both I and Sasuke laughed a little. "Thanks" He smiled lightly.

My gaze dropped to the floor.

"Naruto" I looked up at the mention of my name. "It doesn't matter if I die tomorrow." I opened my mouth to say something but he placed his index finger on my lips to silence me. "It doesn't matter because you made me live."

I smiled. "Hey, I know it's a terrible idea, but shall we get drunk? Cross another thing off from your list?"

"Right-o get the bevvys." He said in what I could only assume was meant to be a British accent. I blinked at him a couple of times.

"The what?"

"Bevvys? You know beverages. Alcohol"

"Are you trying to be British?" He didn't move an inch. I took that as a yes. "Well stop it because it isn't working for you, the accent is terrible and I don't think any British person had said 'bevvy' in the history of Great Britain. Plus my accent is so much better!"

Sasuke scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

"Totally, just watch!" I cleared my throat and spoke in the best British accent I could manage: "Jolly fine weather isn't it? I say that is a smashing top you are wearing. What do you say we have a cuppa and a crumpet fine chap? Maybe I'll show you my double fisting skills."

"Okay as much as I'm for stereotypes, fisting? Really?"

"It's a skill of carrying two drinks at once!" I explained. It was true, I read about it. He looked at me sceptically. "I swear to God! Google it!"

"Right…I'd rather not...think about it..." I did. It wasn't pretty. Damn internet... Still, he looked like he still didn't believe me. "Well in any case that was still terrible."

"Better than yours!"

"No chance"

"Oh just sod off you git!" I carried on in my British accent. This time Sasuke laughed out loud.

* * *

"Naruto" Iruka said to me quietly one day when Sasuke fell asleep on the couch while watching a film. "He's getting worse. Much worse, I…" He stopped and sighed. "I think maybe he'd be better off in a hospital."

"No you can't kick him out now!" I protested.

"I have no intention of doing that but I'm not sure if this is the best idea." Iruka looked at me concerned.

"And Sasuke living the rest of his days in a hospital bed is? No way. I'm not letting that happen to him."

Iruka sighed. "If you're sure Naruto. I just don't want to be the one who says 'I told you so', especially in this situation."

"I'm very sure. Here at least he feels at home, at ease."

"Speaking of home, err…I probably should have told you sooner…"

"What's wrong?" I asked arching my brow.

"Sasuke's father and brother are visiting tomorrow."

My jaw dropped open. "What?"


	6. Chapter 6

"Sasuke I'm so sorry, I had no idea!" I told Sasuke as he continued to glare at me. Let's just say he didn't take the fact that his brother and father will be visiting today all that well. "Iruka told me last night, I couldn't tell you sooner!"

Sasuke gave a big sigh and lowered his gaze. "I know it's not your fault, but I just don't want to see them. Now or ever"

"Can I remind you that one thing on your list was to make up with your brother?" I reminded him. He rolled his eyes and sighed again.

"I know but…I don't even know how to start that conversation… 'I know things have been shit between us for as long as I can remember, but let's just forget about it, shall we? I am dying after all and I don't want to come back and hunt you. Now, let's hug it out'?"

I nodded my head. "Pretty much"

"Naruto, are you on crack?" He asked looking very serious.

"No, but I'm liking your attitude today." I admitted with a smirk.

"Oh shut up, my head hurts."

"That's no excuse, trust me. My head hurts too."

"Hello boys" Iruka said with a smile as he walked down the stairs.

"Morning" we both said in unison, me more cheery than Sasuke.

"Oh Sasuke, please don't be mad at me!" Iruka pleaded as he collapsed on the couch next to Sasuke. "I couldn't exactly say no, they're your family."

Sasuke gave him an evil look and crossed his arms across his chest. "I just wish you told me sooner. I need to mentally prepare myself for hurricane Itachi and my batshit crazy father."

"Sasuke, since when do you crack jokes so early in the morning?" Iruka asked raising an eyebrow. I shrugged my shoulders and smiled.

Sasuke turned to face me. "He thinks I was kidding?" I shrugged again. "He thinks I was kidding…" He buried his head in his hands.

"Hey it's gonna be alright!" Iruka exclaimed putting his hand around Sasuke's shoulders. "I promise, they say one thing out of line and I'll throw them out. I can't stop them from seeing you, but I can throw them out of my own house."

"Thanks" Sasuke muttered through his hands.

"If you want, I can stay with you." I offered. "You know…if you don't want to see them on your own."

"Thanks for all the offers and all" Sasuke raised his head. "But I think I'll go lie down for a bit. I'm already tired and they're not even here yet."

"Alright, I'll get you when they arrive." Iruka said as Sasuke got up from the couch.

"Joy…" he said sarcastically as he disappeared up the stairs.

"Iruka…" I said after I heard Sasuke's door upstairs click shut. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Naruto, we can't stop his family from seeing him. Think of it like this, if you were" he took a moment before saying the next word. "Dying, wouldn't you want the chance to make right with your family? This…this might be his only chance Naruto."

"Don't…don't say it like that." I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists.

"I'm sorry but it's the truth, you've seen it yourself, he gets worse and worse every day, you have to understand, that one day you'll wake up and…" Iruka took a deep breath. "And he won't."

I couldn't help it anymore. I broke down into tears, my sobs getting louder with each passing second. "I don't want to lose him!" I cried. "I don't want to lose him! I…I wish I was dying instead of him!" Iruka got up from where he was sat and come closer to me. He pulled me into a tight hug.

"Shh, it's gonna be alright" he told me soothingly, but it didn't help me even a little bit.

"It's not gonna be alright! He's dying! I love him, and he's dying!" I didn't mean for the last part to come out, but once I said it I didn't care. I really did love him, as a best friend, as a brother, as a part of myself.

"Naruto I can understand how hard it is now, but it'll get easier with time. For now, stop dwelling on how much time he might have left. Take each day as it comes and make sure, that when he does pass away, he does so with a smile on his face. Okay?"

"Yeah" I pulled away from Iruka, tears were still running down my face. "Yeah, of course, you're right" I managed a weak smile which Iruka returned. "Thank you"

"Anytime buddy" he squeezed my shoulder and walked towards the kitchen. "Just don't be too hard on yourself. You've been amazing throughout all of this, and I'm sure Sasuke appreciates it too."

* * *

The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. It was horrible. Sasuke sat on the sofa, his legs and arms crossed, looking at the ceiling. Sasuke's father, Fugaku, sat awkwardly next to him, stiff as a…well, corpse, not moving an inch, looking exactly ahead of him, and – I noticed – not blinking as often as he should have. Sasuke's brother Itachi wasn't much better. He sat on the other side of Sasuke, every once in a while sneaking glances at his brother, opening his mouth as if to say something but ending up biting his lip instead.

And me, I was sat there opposite the three of them, fiddling with my hands, constantly changing my sitting position, wanting to be anywhere else but in that room, at that moment.

"Maybe I should leave…" I said getting up. Sasuke lowered his gaze away from the ceiling long enough to glare at me.

"Sit down" He said simply.

"Alright then" I said and sat back down. "So Itachi, what do you do for a living?"

"Pianist" He answered simply not looking at me or Sasuke, or anything in particular.

"Right, that must be…pretty…interesting."

"It is"

"Wow" I mouthed to myself. These guys were so talkative.

"So Sasuke, how are you…feeling?" Fugaku surprised both me and by the looks of it Sasuke, by asking.

"I'm alright" he answered uncertainly.

"How long do you have left?"

"Fucking hell dad" Itachi spoke up. "You can't ask shit like that."

"Watch your language son"

"I'm not a little kid anymore, I'm a grown man!" Itachi snapped.

It was like Sasuke was literally between a rock and a hard place. "No father, I don't know." He answered still looking at the ceiling.

"You know I have money if you need an operation or-"

"It's not that simple, father" Sasuke said. I could tell his patience was running out.

"I think I need to leave" Fugaku announced suddenly. "I have an important business meeting tomorrow."

Sasuke shook his head lightly. "You know I probably won't see you again."

Fugaku got up from the couch. "I'm okay with that. Good luck son." With that, he left the room, and the house. I simply couldn't believe my eyes or my ears. What the fuck just happened? His father really was a cold hearted son of a bitch.

"Sasuke-" I began.

"It's okay, at least now I can breathe easy." Sasuke finally took his gaze off the ceiling and looked at me. He looked surprisingly…okay.

"Sasuke I'm sorry I don't know what got into him." Itachi spoke. Apparently he could breathe easier with his father gone too.

"Seriously, I don't care. I know he never loved me; I've already come to terms with it. But" Sasuke turned on the couch to face his brother completely. "There is one thing I would like before I die."

Itachi looked slightly uncomfortable. "Err, what is it?"

"I would like…to make peace…with you. You're the only one who ever tried."

Itachi's eyes opened wide. "Sasuke…" His expression softened and he smiled. "I'd like that too."

I couldn't help but smile. "I'm gonna give you two some room to talk." Sasuke glanced in my direction briefly and smiled before returning his attention to his brother. I quietly left the room, leaving the two brothers to sort out their differences.

* * *

"So you two are okay now?" I asked sitting in Sasuke's room later that night.

"Yeah, as strange as that is, we're finally okay." Sasuke sat on his bed facing me and smiled sadly. "It's just a shame that I had to be dying to finally get the guts to make up with him."

"It's better late than never." I looked around the room. "I have to say I'm glad that you made up with your brother. Not just because it was a thing on your list, but because he's family. He promised to visit you, didn't he? You need all the family-" I stopped as I heard a strange noise. I looked at Sasuke and saw that he had his head in his hands again, but this time he was crying. His whole fragile body was shaking with each sob.

"Sasuke, what's wrong?" I asked concerned. "Sasuke?"

"I'm sorry" he mumbled.

"Are you in a lot of pain?"

"No, it's not that." I moved closer to him and pulled him into an embrace. I felt his tears soak my shirt, but I didn't mind. "I know it's pathetic to cry about" he said in between sobs. "But I thought that now, given the circumstances, my father would actually tell me, that he loved me at least. But like I said before, I know he doesn't. I'm okay with it; at least I thought I was."

"It's not pathetic Sasuke, and I'm sorry about your father-" I stopped. Sasuke was breathing unevenly in my arms. "Sasuke?" I pulled him away from me gently. It seemed like he had difficulty breathing. "Sasuke, are you okay?" I asked him, fully concerned now.

"I…I…" he tried to answer but still couldn't catch his breath. He gripped my shirt with his fist, and grabbed his chest with his other hand.

"Iruka!" I shouted. "Iruka help!" Within seconds Iruka ran into the room.

"What's wrong?!" he asked alarmed, and then noticed Sasuke. "Oh shit" he swore before rushing over to Sasuke and picking him up. "We're taking him to the hospital, common!" I didn't need to be told twice. I followed Iruka out of the room, down the stairs and into the car. I speeded down the road all the way to the hospital, while Iruka stayed in the back seat with Sasuke.

"Naruto step on the gas!" Iruka told me, and then uttered the words that made my blood freeze. "I don't think he's breathing!"


	7. Chapter 7

There are different kinds of fears in this world. 'Someone is following me' kind of fear, 'I'm gonna be late' kind of fear, 'I'll get caught cheating on my test' kind of fear. But for me, no kind of fear could compare to 'my best friend could be dead right this second' kind of fear.

"What?" I asked, my voice trembling. I clutched the steering wheel tighter and stepped on the gas. "What?"

"Naruto just drive!" Iruka shouted from the backseat. "Focus on the road!"

"But Sasuke-"

"If you want to help him, keep your eyes on the road and get to the hospital!" Iruka cut me off. I was scared, really scared. I gritted my teeth and squeezed the steering wheel so hard my knuckles turned white. What if…what if he really died? In the back seat of my car? When I didn't even get to say goodbye properly?

I couldn't help it. I risked a quick glance in the back seat. It was dark, only some light from the street lamps was flooding in, but I could see Sasuke's pale face, his lips slightly parted, I couldn't tell if his chest was moving.

I turned my face back to the road, blinking back my tears.

"Hold on Sasuke" I whispered. "We're nearly there. Just don't die, please."

* * *

There are no words to describe what happened next... I've never felt so afraid in my entire life. Now that I think about it, it was strange… It was a blur and everything happened so fast but also the time seemed to drag on to infinity. The time from when Sasuke was taken from Iruka's arms, to the time a doctor finally came to speak to us felt like hours.

Sasuke died. Technically anyway, for whole ten minutes. By some miracle they managed to bring him back.

I collapsed to the floor in a flood of tears. Iruka hugged me and I sobbed into his chest. Soon enough though, I got up (with Iruka's help) and ran to Sasuke's room.

As I looked at him, pale and calm and hooked up to many machines and now (thank God) breathing, I realised something and remembered something. Sasuke really, really wanted to live. He must have fought so hard just to get his heart to start beating again. Even the doctor claimed it was a miracle. But…the doctor also said that Sasuke really didn't have a long time live. He said Sasuke had…three months maximum.

I walked up to him, and stroked his cheek gently. "Sasuke" I swallowed to clear my throat and tried again. "Sasuke, you have no idea how much you mean to me. You are more than a best friend, or even a brother to me. You are a part of me…if you died…when you die…shit" I cursed and clenched my fists. I squeezed my eyes shut to try and stop the tears but it didn't work. They cascaded down my cheeks despite my efforts. I wanted to be strong for Sasuke damn it but…"I really don't want you to die. I need you. I'm sorry that I'm so selfish, but I need you! I can't live without you!"

"I'm so sorry" I heard a weak voice and my eyes snapped open. Sasuke was looking up at me, his face worried and sorry. "I'm so sorry that I'm making you suffer. I wish" He looked away from me. "I wish that could erase myself from your memory. I wish you couldn't remember me, wish you didn't know who I am."

"Don't" I grabbed his hand lightly. "Don't ever say that. It may hurt but I would never ever want to forget you. No matter what, I won't ever forget you!"

Sasuke smiled lightly but then winced. "What's wrong?" I asked quickly.

"Hurts" was all he could say through his gasps of pain. I called for a nurse who came running. Soon enough, Sasuke was asleep again, his face no longer expressing pain.

It was a whole week before he was able to come home.

* * *

"How are you feeling Sasuke?"

"Much better. It's good to be home."

"I'm glad you're home. I missed you."

"Yeah idiot, I missed you too."

"Really?"

"I won't say it again."

"Admit you love me."

"Over my dead body"

"That joke is in a really bad taste."

"Oh stop being so sensitive."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"I told you how not to be."

"I don't understand. You're complicated."

"No, you're just stupid."

"But you still love me, right?"

"I told you I won't say it."

"But why not?"

"Just because"

"But I love you"

"Great but I still won't say it."

"But-"

"Argh! Shit!"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing I'll be fine in a minute."

"What's wrong?!"

"It just…hurts a bit, but I'll-"

"Where are your meds?"

"There, but I'm telling you I'll be fine-"

"Here"

"…Thanks"

"How long does it take to work?"

"About half an hour"

"Do you want to lie down?"

"No, it's okay"

"You sure? You're not tired?"

"I'm fine, really"

"Maybe we could go for a walk once you feel better."

"I don't think you can call it that anymore."

"Does it still bother you that-"

"Wouldn't it bother you? I'm too tired to walk. And you have to push me around."

"I don't mind"

"Of course you don't. You're a good person."

"Just because you have a wheelchair to help you-"

"Please drop it. I really don't feel like going anywhere."

"If you change your mind-"

"You'll be the first to know."

"How about we just play some video games then?"

"Sure, why the hell not"

"Any preferences in which game you want me to kick your ass?"

"How about we try teamwork for once?"

"You scared I'm gonna kick your ass again, aren't you?"

"…"

"Okay, no need to glare at me like that…Jeez…Resident Evil it is. But you get to be the girl."

"Why am I _always_ the girl?"

"Because you're so feminine you're practically a girl."

"Fuck you"

"Let's save that for later sweetheart. Now, let's kick some ass!"

"Stop saying that!"

"Just play!"

"What the hell are you doing?! You're going the wrong way!"

"Well where the hell am I supposed to go?!"

"Not that way! And watch out there's a…zombie with an axe there…why won't you ever listen?!"

"Keep your comments to yourself! I had to save you three times already!"

"Not my fault you keep stealing all the fucking first aid sprays!"

"Not stealing! Just taking!"

"Right, whatever. Now give me some shotgun amo."

"No!"

"But I need it!"

"So do I!"

"I need it more! There's a zombie coming right at me and I got nothing!"

"Punch it! Kick it!"

"I'll punch you in a minute!"

"But I'm on your team, remember?!"

"There's three coming my way, do something!"

"I'm on it!"

"That took you long enough."

"Who's your hero now?"

"Not you"

"You could at least say thanks, you ungrateful bitch."

"Whatever."

"Huh? Why did you pause? Are you alright?"

"Yeah…I'm fine…"

"Then what are you-"

"You know…as much as I hate to say it…I do…you know…"

"You do what?"

"I…do love you."

"Aww what's that? Can you say it louder?"

"Don't push your fucking luck."

"Aww I love you too Sasuke."

"Right, let's get back to this."

"Shoot them in the head! God is this your first time playing this?!"

"Oh shut up! You suck too!"

"Ha right! I rock at this."

"In your dreams"

"More like in yours!"

"That doesn't even make sense…"

"Watch the screen!"

"You too!"

"Go left!"

"Go right!"

"Damn…they got me…"

"Not again…"

I was really, really going to miss my Sasuke…


	8. Chapter 8

Itachi came to visit like he promised. He visited as often as he could. Sasuke was so happy whenever he saw him. No matter how much pain he was in, or how bad his day was, when Itachi came to visit Sasuke smiled at him and thanked him for coming. The first time, Itachi blinked a few times, and I was close enough to see that he was blinking back his tears. He told Sasuke not to be silly, and of course he was going to visit him and there was no need to thank him. Still, each time Sasuke said "thank you" and each time Itachi responded with a simple "I love you" and hugged his baby brother.

I never really knew what they were talking about when Itachi visited. I always left them alone, wanting to give them some time together. Sasuke tried to make me stay, but the look of unspoken gratefulness from Itachi, made me excuse myself and leave. I didn't mind, not even one bit. They both needed to be with each other, and the last thing they needed was me in the room and unable to talk freely. This way they could talk about whatever they wanted. I would never have even asked unless Sasuke told me himself.

"Itachi told me that father asked about me. He wanted to know how I'm feeling." I stopped eating my sandwich and looked up at Sasuke who was sitting on my bed again, looking down at his untouched sandwich on his plate. "Itachi told him if he really wanted to know he should ask me himself. That was two weeks ago."

"Sasuke" I responded. I wanted to say something, anything but how the hell could I respond to that? It wouldn't help Sasuke to know that at that moment I wanted to kill his dad. I wanted to make him suffer like Sasuke had to suffer. I wanted to tell him to stop acting like an asshole and start behaving like a father should.

Sasuke shrugged his shoulders and sighed lightly. "It doesn't matter anyway. If he called me I would most probably hung up on him anyway."

"And no one would blame you but," I stopped and sighed heavier than Sasuke. "It's the thought that counts. Or would have counted"

"Don't you think I know that?" Sasuke said so quietly I almost didn't hear him. "What's so utterly wrong with me that he just can't love me?"

I got up from the floor, my food long forgotten and walked over to Sasuke. I sat on the bed next to him. "There is nothing wrong with you. Your dad is an idiot."

"But he's supposed to love me, right? That's what parents do. First my mum couldn't, now my father…"

"Sasuke, your mum loved you very much-"

"Then why did she kill herself?!" Sasuke snapped and looked at me. His eyes were once again filled with tears.

"She was very ill; it wasn't because she didn't love you or Itachi or your father."

"We loved her, if what you're saying is true, then how could life be so bad for her that she decided death was better?" Sasuke stopped but I didn't have an answer. Instead I dropped my gaze. "How could none of us have seen it coming? How could we be so blind?"

My gaze snapped up. "You were very young, and besides, there is no way to tell unless that person tells _you_."

Sasuke sighed again and gave me a small smile. "I guess I'll see her soon. Then I can ask her myself. But her answer better be good." I gave him a look but a smile as well. I slowly got used to his dark sense of humour. I guess joking was better than crying…

"Whatever her reason was, it WASN'T you. Trust me."

"And how can you know?"

"Because I just know" It seemed to be enough for him. He smiled at me again and nodded once. He gave up with his food, and set his plate on the floor. Then he led down and rested his head in my lap. I was a little surprised but decided not to question it. He needed comfort but would never ask for it. I stroked the side of his head a few times. Eventually, he turned his head and looked at me for a few minutes without saying anything. Finally he muttered a sleepy "I'm tired". I ran my hand though his hair and smiled.

"Let me help you." I lifted his head with my hand and slipped from under him. He moved into a more comfortable position for him on the bed. I grabbed a few blankets from the desk chair and covered him with them. It didn't bother me that he was in my bed. He was too tired to move. Instead I decided to let him sleep in my bed.

"What would I do without you?" He muttered with his eyes closed already. I wasn't sure if he meant to say that, or if it simply slipped out due to his tiredness. Either way, it made me both happy and sad. I was glad to help him, but I wished he was healthy enough to be able to do it all himself.

I caressed his pale cheek with my hand. "Good night, sweet dreams."

"G'night 'ruto" I knew he was asleep before he even finished speaking.

I gave a small sigh and a smile, and left my room. Following his lead I decided to go to sleep too, and went to Sasuke's room and collapsed on his bed.

* * *

_"You kick like a girl!" _

_ "You once said that I look like a girl so it's fitting isn't it? Plus I can still play better than you!" Sasuke shouted from the other side of the garden as he kicked the ball towards me. _

_ "Huh really?! Well then get serious and show me just how well you can play!" I kicked the ball back in his direction. In return, he kicked the ball back as hard as he could. I had to duck; otherwise I would have been hit right in the face. _

_ "Still think I kick like a girl?" Sasuke asked crossing his arms across his chest as we both laughed. I started to walk up to him, as his laughs turned into violent coughing fits. Soon, he was on the floor coughing, one hand covering his mouth, the other wrapped around his waist. _

_ I tried to shout his name, but my voice abandoned me._

_ I ran and ran, as his coughing became much worse. His whole body was rocked by it. I could see tears running down his cheeks._

_ I still ran and ran, even when his coughing subsided and his hands fell limply to his side. I just knew he stopped breathing. _

_ I ran and ran, but I wasn't even moving. No matter how much I tried I couldn't reach his side. _

I woke up with a start as I heard a loud crash and bang. I jumped to my feet barely noticing the time. It was 8am, Iruka was at work so that only left-

"Sasuke" I breathed as I ran to my room, heart hammering in my chest. I opened my bedroom door and saw him lying on the floor. I ran to his side.

"Sasuke are you alright?" I asked worriedly. He groaned in response. I sighed in relief, _thank God he's alive…_I thought. I always feared the worse…

I picked him up, led him back on the bed, and sat next to him.

"Sasuke what happened?"

He closed his eyes and swallowed before answering. He looked in a lot of pain. "I fell off the bed."

"Are you hurt? Did you break anything?"

"Just my wrist" He answered. I picked up his skinny wrist with my hand and he hissed in pain.

"I hope it's not broken, I'll get you to a hospital just to be safe."

"No!" he's eyes snapped open and he looked at me pleadingly. "Please, no hospital. I can move it so it's not broken, it just hurts. Please don't make me go there again."

I looked at him sadly. "Let me just bandage it at least."

Once I was done, and I made sure Sasuke took his medication, I helped him sit up. I asked what he wanted for breakfast. He didn't answer. I asked if he wanted to go to the park today. He didn't answer. I asked if he was still in pain. He didn't answer. I asked what was wrong. He took a shaky breath but still didn't answer.

I decided not to say anything else either. Instead I gently pulled him towards me and hugged him tightly. After a few seconds I felt him hug me back. He balled his fists in the back of my shirt. I stroked his back with my hand.

"I'm so pathetic" Sasuke mumbled. "I couldn't even get myself up from the floor." I felt my heart break into a million pieces.

"You are not!" I told him hugging him tighter. "You are the strongest person I know. I told you that already. You are, and always will be my inspiration. You are amazing."

He didn't say anything else after that. In fact, he didn't say _anything _for the next two days.


	9. Chapter 9

When he finally said something, it was so quiet I almost didn't hear him. "Naruto" he said and looked at nothing in particular. "What do you think happens to us when we die?"

The question stunned me. Of course I had thought of it before as you well know, but I wasn't sure either of my answers would be comforting to Sasuke.

"Want to go and sit in the garden with me?" I tried changing the subject. It was a failed attempt. Have I mentioned how stubborn my best friend is?

"Can you just answer my question?" He asked and looked at me, too tired to even roll his eyes.

"Do you want my honest answer?" I asked seriously. He nodded once. Taking a deep breath I told him. "I don't know. I wish I could tell you but I really don't know…I don't know what to think."

"Oh" He said and lowered his gaze. I could sense the disappointment, it was not an answer he was hoping for, but I wasn't going to lie to him either.

"But" I carried on and Sasuke looked at me again. "I read this book, '_Elsewhere'. _According to that book, once we die we go to this place called Elsewhere, and there we live normal lives again but age backwards until we're reborn again." Sasuke raised an eyebrow and I smiled. "So if someone dies at the age of 90, once they reach Elsewhere they age backwards so on their next birthday they would be 89 and so on until they are 7 days old and they are sent back to earth to be reborn again."

"I'm nineteen, so if I died now, I'd be eighteen on my next birthday?" He asked still slightly sceptical.

"Exactly" I tried smiling at him but I simply couldn't. "Except your new birthday, would become your death day."

"Right" Sasuke said and nodded his head again. "It sound very complicated."

"It is" This time I did smile. "But to put it simply, in about eighteen years I could see you again."

For a brief moment he smiled then looked serious again. "Idiot, how would you find me?"

"You never know" I shrugged my shoulders. "Maybe you'd be reborn as my child?"

"That's just plain weird. Forget I asked anything." Silence filled the room once again, until surprisingly Sasuke broke it. "Thank you" was all he said and I knew I put his mind at ease, even if it was just a little bit.

* * *

"Sasuke we're going out!" I said happily as I entered his room.

"Well" he said arching an eyebrow and looking up from a book. "That's news to me. I thought our love was strictly platonic."

"Har-har, I'm glad your sense of humour is intact. But what I meant was that we're going outside."

"I don't feel like it." Sasuke said and his gaze returned to the book in his hand.

"You never feel like it so I decided I'm not taking no for an answer. You're coming with me and that's final."

"Fine just shut up and let me finish this book, I've got only two pages left."

"What are you reading anyway?" I asked sitting next to him on his bed. He lifted up the book, not taking his eyes off the contents. The title read '_Elsewhere'_. I smiled and waited patiently until he was finished.

Once he was, he wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. He tried doing it so I wouldn't notice but I still did.

"You don't have to hide it from me." I told him. "When I finished reading that book I cried like a little girl for like ten minutes."

"Shut up idiot. I am not crying." Sasuke said while setting the book down on the bed next to him and wiping away another tear. Who was he trying to fool?

"Sure you're not" I said gently. He reached to wipe another tear but I beat him to it. "Did reading it help?"

"Just a little" He answered in a small voice. "If that book is right, my mother will be waiting for me when I arrive and I get to spend some time with her. I'll be alive even though I'll be dead."

"Yeah, exactly" I kept wiping his tears that were cascading down his cheeks now.

"But if that book _is_ right, when I return to earth, I won't know who you are." Sasuke's voice caught as he finished his sentence.

"I'll know" I answered cupping his face with my hands. "I'll know who you are."

* * *

"I hate to admit it, but…"

"But?"

"But I'm glad you made me go outside."

"You mean that?" I asked.

"Why else would I say it?"

"Right" I looked over where we were sat. Iruka had worked wonders with our garden. It was full of beautiful flowers. I didn't know where he found the time to do it all, but it made sitting in the garden really relaxing.

Sasuke and I were sat on a bench, occasionally talking, but mostly talking in the fresh air and sight of pretty flowers.

"You know what? I'm gonna pick some of those flowers and put them in your room." I announced suddenly.

"That's such a girly thing to do. Plus Iruka will kill you."

"Don't pretend like you don't love that idea. And Iruka is not gonna care that much, I'll only pick a few." I looked over at Sasuke and saw him roll his eyes.

"Do what you want just don't make me say 'I told you so' later."

I chuckled and got up from my seat. I walked over to the lilies and decided to pick a few of them first. Sasuke might have thought it was girly, but fresh flowers always made a room look brighter and obviously smell better.

"You know Sasuke you should gender stereotype less." I said jokingly. "Who said flowers are a girl thing? Iruka planted them here and he's certainly not a girl. Well, I hope so anyway because otherwise my life has been a lie." I chuckled to myself. Sasuke didn't. Well at least I found myself funny. "And who said that an amaryllis" I said as I picked one. "Is a girl flower? Maybe it's a man flower. There's no way to ask it."

Sasuke still didn't say anything. "Hey if I'm boring you with all my 'girly' flower talk you are more than welcome to change the subject." I moved on to pick a few tea roses. Iruka once told me that tea roses mean 'I'll always remember you', so they were perfect. Lily symbolises long lasting relationships and amaryllis are usually given to people in recognition of their talent, and since Sasuke was an excellent writer it was perfect as well. I had really picked the most perfect bouquet for him. Even, if Sasuke didn't really appreciate flowers.

"Sasuke are you alright?" I asked. "You've been really quiet-" Once I turned around I finally realised why he didn't answer me. The flowers forgotten, slipped from my grasp and fell softly on the grass at my feet.

So much like the flowers I just picked, Sasuke also lay on the soft grass, on his side, a few feet away from me, looking completely lifeless.


	10. Chapter 10

My mind raced, my heart beat so fast I was sure it was going to jump out of my chest. Panic, unbelievable panic filled me up. Before I even knew what I was doing I was running towards him.

"Sasuke!" I screamed as I dropped on my knees at his side. Gently, I rolled him onto his side. I tried to shake him awake but he didn't. More panic built up within me as tears threatened to spill.

"Sasuke" I called his name again, this time quieter trying to catch my breath. He still didn't move or make a sound. When I finally gathered my courage, I placed my ear to his chest and held my breath.

I let it out with relief when I heard it. His heartbeat. The most beautiful sound on the planet. He was alive. I wanted to thank God (if He really did exist) for not taking my Sasuke yet. For not letting him leave without a proper goodbye. For letting me spend some more time with my best friend.

"Sasuke, can you hear me?" I asked gently letting his head rest on my knees. "Sasuke, wake up, please."

He still didn't make a noise or even move an inch. Iruka came home about fifteen minutes after it happened. He found us both still in the garden. From the look on his face when he saw us I could tell that he thought the worst happened too.

With a slightly shaky voice I managed to explain to him what had happened. He wanted to call for an ambulance but I told him that Sasuke would be very pissed off if he woke up in a hospital. So Iruka called for a nurse to come to our house to have a look at Sasuke.

After that was arranged, me and Iruka brought him into the house and led him in his bed. I sat in a chair next to his bed and held his hand.

I was still sat there, holding his hand when the nurse came, checked him over twice, told Iruka and me that Sasuke had "simply" passed out and will wake up in his own time, and when she left. I held his hand until the middle of the night until he finally started to stir. Even then I held on, as if my life depended on it.

"Sasuke" I said my voice hoarse from not speaking for so long as I moved closer to him and sat on his bed. Sasuke's eyes slowly flickered open. "How are you feeling?" his gaze met mine.

"What happened?" Sasuke asked, his voice very quiet. I gave his hand a small squeeze.

"You scared me shitless, that's what happened." His eyes widened slightly so I offered an explanation. "You lost consciousness while I was picking flowers in the garden."

"Huh" he said and still held my gaze.

"Are you in pain?"

"Not more than usual."

"Are you hungry?" I asked him trying to smile a little, but it didn't work and most probably looked fake.

"No, I don't want anything." He shook his head gently. "I just want to go to sleep."

"But you just woke up."

"I'm so tired." As if to emphasise his point, his eyes closed.

"Okay, I'll leave you alone." I gave his hand one more squeeze before I got up from the bed. "Goodnight Sasuke." I said as I went to turn off the lamp on his bedside table. He probably would have replied, but he was already asleep.

* * *

Next morning, he didn't wake up until noon. And even then he was too tired to get out of bed. The day after was the same. The day after that one, it was worse. We called the nurse again. She said it was normal and nothing she could do. Worry gnawed at me. He wasn't usually like this. We usually bickered "like an old married couple" as he liked to put it, he rolled his eyes at most things I said but now…he was just lying in his bed, speaking occasionally.

Later that day I called Itachi.

"Hello? Itachi speaking." He said when he picked up the phone.

"Hello Itachi, its Naruto."

"Oh hello Naruto. You never call, is…is something the matter?"

"It's Sasuke, he's…he's gotten worse... I think it would do him some good if you came to visit."

"What do you mean worse?" He asked, not angry but…scared.

"He sleeps most of the day…he doesn't get out of bed…you need to come and see him."

"You're not telling me something Naruto." I stayed quiet. There was _nothing_ I could say without bursting into tears. "Do you really think my visit will do him good, or do you want me to say my goodbyes?"

I squeezed my eyes shut but the tears still ran down my face. "Itachi, just come as quick as you can. Please."

"I'll be there tomorrow." He replied and hang up. The phone dropped from my grasp. I feel to my knees where I was standing, sobs ripped through me before I could even try to stop them.

* * *

I went into his bedroom around 10pm. He was awake starring at the ceiling.

"Hey" I said.

"Naruto" Sasuke looked at me and smiled lightly.

"How are you doing?"

"I feel like crap." He told me honestly. I don't know what other answer I was expecting. He already told me before that every inch of his body hurt.

"It's late, you should get some sleep." I told him. "I'll come tomorrow."

"No, wait." Sasuke said as I turned to leave. "Stay with me, here. I really don't want to be alone."

With a smile, I walked up to his bed. He shuffled over making some space for me and I led down next to him.

"Naruto, I want to thank you for everything you've done for me, and I'm sorry for everything I've put you through."

I turned my head to face him. "Why are you talking like that?"

Sasuke took a shaky breath. "We both know I don't have much time left Naruto."

"Please don't say that." I told him. He turned his head to face me as well. I could see the few tears that ran down his face.

"I can feel it Naruto. I can't explain it but I just know that it'll be over soon." As he blinked fresh tears filled his eyes. "And I never got to finish that stupid list I made up."

Without even thinking, I leaned over and kissed him gently on the lips. When I pulled away he looked a little surprised but smiled at the same time.

"Four out of five is not bad." I said with a smile.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." He chuckled. After a couple minutes of silence he spoke. "Naruto?"

I turned to face him again.

"I am so scared of dying." As soon as he finished speaking, his while thin body was rocked by sobs.

I pulled him in for a tight hug. "Shh, I know" I said as I stroked his back with my hand. I started crying too, making the top of his head wet. "I love you."

"I love…you too" he said in-between his sobs.

We both cried and cried half the night, until we fell asleep in each other's arms. Little did I know, that the next day would be the worst day of my entire life.


	11. Chapter 11

_"9-1-1, what's your emergency?" _

[Sobbing uncontrollably]

_"Hello? Can you hear me?"_

"[Shakily] Ugh yeah, I can."

_"What's the emergency?"_

"My best friend…he's…uh…he's dead."

_"Are you sure?"_

"Fucking positive"

_"Sir, I need you to calm down."_

"But he's dead!"

_"Where are you?" _

"At home, I woke up and…"

_"And what?"_

"And he was already dead!"

_"What's your location?"_

[Sobbing]

_"Sir?"_

[Sobbing]

_"Sir, please, I need an address." _

"[Barely audible] He's dead…"

* * *

When it happened, I always thought I'd lose my mind. I'd go crazy and break down in tears and not move out of my room for a week. That happened later. But when I woke up the next day and found out that my best friend's suffering had finally ended…I didn't feel anything. Just plain emptiness.

"Sasuke?" I asked gently shaking his shoulder. He didn't reply. "Sasuke?" I asked again. Something felt wrong straight away. It took me a few seconds to realise that he wasn't breathing and a few more seconds to realise what that meant. Sasuke was dead.

Feeling absolutely nothing at all, I stroked his pale cheek gently. I still expected him to open his eyes at any second. I was just THAT stupid.

It must have been about five minutes when it REALLY hit me. He was DEAD. I would never, ever speak to him, hug him, and comfort him. I would never see his smile or see him roll his eyes.

I ran to the bathroom and emptied the contents of my stomach. The word 'dead' just ran through my mind like a painful mantra.

When the tears started running down my face, I called for an ambulance…as to why, I still don't know. It was too late.

Then as I was waiting for the ambulance to arrive, I tried hard to remember what his last words were. Everyone made such a big deal about them… I thought and thought but I simply couldn't remember.

Was it my name? Was it that time he was trying to catch my attention? No, that's not it. 'I am so scared of dying'? Yes, he did say that, but it wasn't the last thing he said. The last thing, before he fell asleep forever was 'I love you'.

The last thing my best friend said to me was that he loved me. It brought me little comfort then, but now I can really appreciate how lucky I was. How many people can say that the last words from their loved ones were as beautiful as that?

At least he died knowing I loved him too, that I never abandoned him. That I stayed with him till the very end.

Maybe both of us could be considered 'lucky', given the circumstances.

* * *

Once the ambulance took Sasuke's body away (for I stated to believe that his soul was in a better place now) I called Iruka. If he understood my bubbling jumble of words, I'm impressed. Either way he knew what happened just from the tone of my voice.

Itachi turned up too. Too little too late. I was SO angry I made sure he understood that. I made sure to tell him how much Sasuke had to suffer and how much he needed his brother to be there for him. Itachi never speaks to me anymore, and I'm not surprised. Now I feel bad about what I said to him, but at the time, I thought he deserved it. Despite the fact that he was hurting, I wanted him to hurt even more. It was an awful thing to do, but I hurt so much, it's _still_ not easy to talk about.

After all that I locked myself in my bedroom and didn't move for two days. Then I wouldn't eat anything for a week. Wouldn't speak to anyone for longer than that. Eventually, with Iruka's help I returned to the world of the living.

* * *

Sasuke's funeral was SO small it was painful. So few people turned up…I could hardly believe it. How could such a wonderful, selfless, amazing person have such a modest send-off?

Surprisingly, Sasuke's father turned up. I'm not proud of it but…the second I noticed him; I walked up to him without a word and punched him in the face so hard I broke his nose. Okay, maybe I'm a little proud of that, asshole had it coming.

* * *

I went back to university eventually. I changed studied something else though. I decided to study care, and became a carer for the elderly. Seeing my best friend die, I was no longer scared of death, and I enjoyed taking care of them, making sure they knew, even at the end of their life, someone still cared.

After sometime, I saved up some money and went to a medical school. Currently I'm working as a nurse, and I think I really have found my true calling.

* * *

Sasuke never achieved his dream of becoming an author. He never finished his book. I found it, he started it that time I asked him what he was writing, that time he disappeared, that time when he first told me he was ill. In that book he described what he was going through, how he felt and how he dealt with it. He wrote up to the day he died. In that book he called me "an angel" because "no human being can be as good and understanding". When I first read that I cried for a week.

All I did was write this ending to that book. I wonder if Sasuke would have liked it.

* * *

I already told you what Sasuke's last words to me where, but I forgot to mention mine. I don't know, it seems like an appropriate end for this book.

I stopped crying before him that night, but he still sobbed quietly.

I pulled him closer to me and wiped away his tears, singing, what Iruka sang to me what I was younger;

_"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine; you make me happy, when skies are grey. You'll never know dear, how much I love you, so please don't take, my sunshine away."_

Sweet dreams Sasuke.


End file.
